Threes company
by Cornorama
Summary: AU,not compliant with previous story lines, WilsonCuddy are secretly dating so are HouseCameron. A lawsuit and Wilson's bitter ex forces House to publicly date Cuddy while trying to maintain his relationship with Cameron...while both women live with him
1. Our House

**This story is AU, meant to be fun, and if I don't get every single plot point correct I am going to claim that in this space time continuum it didn't happen that way…and then I will quietly correct my mistake.**

**I am not nor do I claim to be the high priestess of House fan fiction so if I doubt that this is going to feel like a tradition House story, but free to be critical if you like…**

**For Dani, who needed something fun to read.**

Greg House bounced his tennis ball off the wall next to Wilson's head causing him to flinch slightly. "So, one more time, for the kids at the back of the class what do you want me to do?"

"House," warned Wilson.

"I'll love how you say my name in that angry voice, gives me the tingles."

"Are you going to help us or not?" asked Cuddy, exasperation creeping into her voice.

"I don't know. I mean what you are asking me is so unethical I don't know how I, a respected member of the medical community, could knowingly involve myself in something that could definitely be considered attempting to defraud the court."

Cuddy snorted. "Everybody lies, does that sound at all familiar?"

"Touché, so tell me, what's in this for me?"

"What do you want?" asked Cuddy.

"You know what I want," he said, moving his eyes to her barely exposed cleavage, "it's what I've wanted all along, it's what I told you that I wanted that night we sat under the stars on the bleachers at UMich."

"House!" exclaimed Wilson, "What the hell is wrong with yo…"

"No way. It's like I told you that night, it is something that you are never going to get," said Cuddy.

"You don't know that for sure."

"As long as I am the Dean of Medicine at this institution…"

"Which you may not be for much longer."

"I can't give you what you want."

"Yes, you could."

Wilson watched the rapid volley of conversation between House and Lisa. Neither seemed inclined to give the other any ground. He hated that House had been at the University of Michigan with Lisa. Every so often he alluded to some big secret in their past just to prove a point, he had an in with the Dean of Medicine that no one else in their immediate circle did. And when that in didn't work, House would tap his leg lightly and comment, "Never take a first opinion."

"What about every other week?"

"No."

"What about one night a month?"

"No."

"House, I can't. People would say that I was playing favorites."

"They'll be saying that soon enough. My final offer, I never step foot in the clinic every again. Unless there is something really neat, like I don't know a rash that looks like Bea Arthur," he amended.

"I can't do it."

"Then I can't help you. You'll just have to find someone else to drag into your wacky Parent Trap-esque scheme."

"Fine. Fine, you know what, you are a jerk. We came to you as friends, asking for your help and you can't just…" Cuddy threw up her hands, "Ok. No more clinic."

"Ever again," prompted House.

"On one condition."

"I don't think you are in the position to bargain."

"If you don't help us I won't be in a position, period. If I have to resign or if the hospital chooses to dismiss me, things for you will most likely become very difficult. I doubt anyone else would allow you to do things the way you do."

"Let it always be said I did it my way."

"Thank you Mr. Sinatra. Do you want to hear my condition or not?"

"I think not. I don't think that I am opened to bargaining, after all this is concerning my integrity, not a used Trans-Am."

"I see. Then how about this, it will take the board a minimum of forty-five days to decide whether or not to dismiss me. It's going to take them at least a week to receive notification from Richard McNamara. In the meantime you will spend every minute of your rotation in clinic. If you are on my clock, people with rashes, colds, and achy tummies will surround you."

"I'm a reasonable man, let's hear your condition."

"When you and I are in front of other people, you act like a man who is in love."

"Oh, come on," said House, "No one is going to believe that you and I are dating if I start chasing you around like a horny frat boy."

"Then how are we going to make people believe that you and I have been carrying on a long term, secret love affair?"

"I'll stop making sarcastic remarks about you behind your back."

"What about to my face," she countered dryly.

"Let's take things slow and see where we find ourselves."

"So," asked Wilson, "Are you going to help us."

"Of course," replied House, "Isn't that what friends are for?"


	2. Is a very, very fine House

**Here we go, chapter 2 once again for Dani. If she stops enjoying this, I am going back to Gone With the Wind fanfiction...lol, check it out. I am writing a huge one.**

**p.s thank you to the people who reviewed/added the story to their alerts. That shocked me, I figured people would either flame or not read at all.**

**Happy late Thanksgiving.**

Cameron's eyes were focused on the road ahead of her and yet House could still feel her giving him a dirty look.

She had not taken the news about Cuddy moving in as well as he had hoped. He had been racking his brain for nearly an hour, trying to come up with a way to explain to his secret girlfriend that the dean of medicine was going to have to pretend to be dating him to avoid being sued by Wilson's bitter third ex-wife.

They had been seeing each other for nearly eight months, two months earlier, when the lease had expired on her apartment; he had casually suggested that she come move in with him.

She had been reluctant at first; their relationship was still a secret from their co-workers and friends. Her family knew about them, at Easter he had accompanied her to her Aunt's house on Long Island and while her family had been a little put off by their golden child dating her significantly older boss, they had made him feel more at home in those four hours then his own parents had in his entire life.

In all, he was happy with the current state of their relationship. Cameron was incredibly easy to live with and the only snag had been her reluctance to go public about their involvement with one another.

When he had hinted that he would be ok with her telling people what a passionate, unrestrained lover he was, she had shot him right down with a shake of her head. "It's not that I'm not happy about us, I am. But I don't want people to think that every time you don't shoot down one of my diagnoses with a witty, but sarcastic comment, it's because I'm screwing my boss."

"Yes, but on those rare occasions when I am in something like a good mood, people will worship you for working your magic on that asshole Doctor House."

"Yeah, and the rest of the time when you are acting like an ass I'll have to listen to people kidding me about taking you in an empty room and trying to "adjust" your attitude. No thanks. Foreman dated that nurse on seven and no one let him live it down for the entire time he was seeing her. In office relationships are career suicide."

He let her comment go, but it still annoyed him a little that she was the one who decided to keep them under wraps. Logically, it should be him who was embarrassed to be in a healthy, happy relationship with a woman.

When she came out of the elevator she passed his bike with a look of confusion before she saw him. He was waiting by her car, holding his helmet with a casual grin.

"It's starting to rain, mind if I ride home with you?" he asked.

She smiled. "It would be my pleasure, after all I wouldn't want to see you break your neck if the bike slipped on some wet pavement."

Glancing around the parking garage to make certain no one was near their row, he leaned into her and kissed her neck lightly. "I've been wanting to do that all day."

"Really?" she asked, resting her hand on his hip.

"Really," he confirmed, "Listen, I have to tell you something."

"What is it?"

He glanced toward the end of the garage; the rain had begun to pour down, too much to risk her leaving him at the hospital. "Let's get going, I'll tell you in the car."

"So apparently they've been at it for a while, now Julie has some high priced shyster trying to overthrow her original settlement and go after Wilson for whatever he isn't paying out to the first two vultures. Because he has been banging Cuddy like a drum at a pow-wow, Julie's lawyer is naming her in the suit as a co-respondent and she is also naming the hospital as a contributor because they went somewhere together on a conference."

"So she has to live with you so she doesn't get fired? That's insane Greg, it really is. And what about us? I mean if you are pretending to be her boyfriend, then where does that leave me?"

"It doesn't leave you anywhere."

"Umm, I think it leaves me homeless. But I guess I'll pack my stuff and stay with Wilson until this is all blows over."

"Oh no you don't. This isn't Fox's newest reality show, secret girlfriend swap, you are staying right where you are.

"What about Cuddy?"

"What about her? Cuddy can sleep on the couch, unless you are looking to spoon with her."

"What about the spare room?"

"Which room are you talking about? If I do a quick count we have our bedroom and my study, unless you mean the kitchen, I don't have a room we don't use."

"We use the kitchen, I made egg sandwiches on Sunday

"You unwrapped our enormous omelet sandwiches

"And poured juice" retorted Cameron, momentarily forgetting how annoyed she was at House for making such a huge decision without even bothering to mention it to her until they were on their way home.

"I didn't get juice."

"You were in the shower and I needed it more than you do. Women are twice as likely to lose calcium in their late twenties," she informed him primly.

"I see. Well, if I am going to become a Mormon, Cuddy better cook or find me a third woman who does."

"A third one? We're out of couches, where would you put her?"

"If Cuddy can find us someone who cooks I'll buy a house. And then we cut our losses and throw out Cuddy."

They lapsed into an awkward silence and House began to fiddle with the buttons and dials on her car radio, looking for something to fill the gap in conversation. The opening chords to Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects caused Cameron to glance at him, her eyes narrowed as though he'd somehow put in a telepathic request for the worst possible song to come on at the worst possible moment.

"Don't get your thong in a knot, I'm changing it, I'm changing it."

"No, it's fine, I like this song."

"I thought you might," he muttered under his breath.

She hummed along until the next verse started and then she began to sing along completely ignoring him as she gave special emphasis to lines that she thought applied to their situation.

"Tell me all that you've thrown away, find out games you don't wanna play you are the only one that needs to know," sang Cameron, as she cut off a mini van and a taxi."

The taxi driver blew his horn violently and flipped her off. With a look of horror on his usually smug face, House watched as she rolled down the window to scream back a string of obscenities that would have been completely at home in the mouth of a spectator at a back alley dog fight.

Feeling his eyes on her, she turned her attention back to him. "What?" she snapped.

"Nothing."

"You were thinking something."

"I didn't know there was a ban on thinking."

"There is when you're thinking mean thoughts about the driver."

"You do remember that you were the one that said you didn't want people thinking that I was favoring you because we were seeing each other?"

"Hrump," she grunted, as she turned up the windshield wipers.

"Do you also remember that I told you that I was ok with people knowing when you moved in with me?"

Pulling into her spot in front of the condo, she waited until she turned off the engine before looking at him. "No. I don't remember, in fact, I must have amnesia, who are you? What are you doing in my car?"

"Allison, Wilson is my probably one of my only friends," at her tiny smirk of amusement, he continued, "And if you ever tell him I said that out loud, I will deny it and tell everyone how you got sick during Transformers and puked in your popcorn bucket."

"The action on the screen moved around too much, I got motion sickness," she said defensively.

"You also had four rounds of two-fers at Applebee's before we got to the movie," he reminded her.

"So did you," she countered.

"I outweigh you by about sixty pounds but, we aren't talking about your lightweight tendencies. Wilson needs my help. I don't think he has ever asked me for help in the entire time that I've known him. And I suppose when Cuddy isn't being a complete pain in my ass, she is someone I'd swerve the bike to miss."

"I don't even want to know how you describe what I am to you."

"You know how I feel about you."

"No. I don't."

"I asked you to move in with me, that has to be pretty obvious."

"You told me that I should move in here because it would be easier on you if you didn't have to put your pants back on after sex."

"Allison, come on. You know damned well that if that were the only reason I asked you to move in with me, we just would have started having sex here more often."

"You've never said it."

"Because you already know."

"Yeah," she said, before opening her car door, "Well knowing something and having it confirmed are two completely different things."

House watched as she angrily strode up the front walkway toward their door. Cuddy hadn't even moved in yet and already she was upsetting his routine. He hoped for her sake that she could cook otherwise, clinic or not, she would be out on her boney ass before sundown.


	3. Let us know what you really think

**As always for Dani...**

When he walked into the condo, Wilson and Cuddy were sitting on the couch regarding Cameron with matched expressions of curiosity and trepidation.

"House?" asked Cuddy nervously, "what is she doing here? Not that I don't think you are trustworthy Doctor Cameron," she quickly clarified noting the way Cameron's eyes had narrowed, "it's just that Doctor Wilson, House and I have some things we need to discuss."

Cameron placed her hands on her slim hips, looking like a gunslinger in a B-movie western. The though of Cameron wearing a pair of chaps, a cowgirl hat, and very little else came unexpectedly to mind and House grinned deviously, A grin that was wiped from his face by Cameron's next words.

"I live here," cut in Cameron before House could tell some outrageous story.

"What?" cried Wilson in a voice that nearly rose to a shriek.

"Don't hold back Jimmy," said House dryly, "let us know what you really think." He kept his eye on Cuddy who was looking at Cameron with naked curiosity. Obviously the dean of medicine had never thought that beneath his usual inappropriate sexual comments there was a man who could be attracted to a younger, opinionated, intelligent woman.

"How long has this been going on?" Asked Wilson, struggling to keep his surprise in check.

"Since yesterday," said Cameron with a feigned giggle, as she twisted her hair around her pointer finger. "our passion boiled over in the hot soup line and we decided to celebrate that illicit love in an MRI machine, the new one that's iPod compatible. Would you believe I actually had a play list preloaded, just in case? Songs to bag your boss by."

"Where was I?" grumbled House, "I think I would remember if I had soup yesterday."

Wilson looked at Cuddy, who shrugged lightly. Obviously, this new and unexpected development was a complete surprise to the normally intuitive Dean. "House, I am your closest friend, hell I am your only friend, you couldn't tell me?"

"I meant to tell you, but I just didn't seem to find the time what with you becoming Wuddy behind my back...or is Cilson, I can never tell if it is the guy before the girl's name. I admit after the cataclysmic state of depression I sunk into at the dissolution of Bennifer, I lost interest. I think it was a coping mechanism of sorts."

Cuddy snorted. "You are very at ease with the whole pick a fandom name, why is that House? Closet drabble writer?"

"Excuse me?" House glanced at Wilson who was now pacing the living room, picking up various things and putting them back in an attempt to focus his thoughts.

"Never mind," said Cuddy dismissively. "So you and Doctor Cameron are seeing each other? That certainly is a surprise. I'm amazed you were able to keep it quiet at the hospital.

"We aren't seeing each other, she just uses me for the sex. It is really a little degrading, but you know I have issues with low self esteem. Oh, I know I should take a stand and at least demand she buy me dinner first, but I've always been a giver and not a taker."

Cameron had settled her self at the small table that House had bought her at the Bombay Company. He had denied buying it especially for her, but she had known that wasn't the case when she sat at it. It was exactly the right size for her to sit at with her laptop. A man of House's size would knock his knees on it if he even attempted to sit at it.

"I paid for the pizza the other night, how quickly they forget," she commented.

"That's true, I apologize. I guess it just depends on who you tell. I know and Cameron knows, so that pretty much limited the loose lips factor. I mean, Jimmy has hair plugs and I've never told anyone."

"Really? Asked Cameron, leaning slightly forward to get a closer look at Wilson's hairline.

House nodded solemnly. "That was why he took 3 weeks off last year."

"You told me you had a family emergency," chided Cuddy.

"He's lying. I do not have hair plugs, he is a liar," reiterated Wilson.

"Careful Wilson, stress can damage the follicles. He couldn't come back to work because he kept scratching the harvest and recipient areas until he had a bunch of scabs. Looked like a cootie infested third grader."

"Lisa, I don't think this is going to work," said Wilson, attempting to ignore House.

"Would you shut it Lex Luther, we are going to make this work, cold and flu season starts next month and I plan on staying as far away from the clinic as possible."

Cameron's head immediately came up even though her fingers continued to click away on the keyboard for another few seconds. "What did you just say?"

Looking vaguely abashed, House admitted the other motivating factor that had secured his cooperation. "Remember when I explained why I was helping them, that was the other thing. I was going to tell you my good news tonight over dinner."

"You said you were doing this to help them because they are your friends."

"And you believed him?" exclaimed Cuddy, "Seriously?"

"Mind your own business," snapped Cameron.

Cuddy frowned. She was not used to being told off by Doctor Cameron who in the past had always been unfailing courteous in their dealings. "I am your boss, if you recall. Maybe you should bear that in mind. I understand that this is a tense situation, more so that I thought when I asked House in the first place. Still, I think we can all treat one another with the respect and professional courtesy we deserve."

"Yeah, well the hospital is 15 miles from here, this is Housetopia and I am it's evil queen."

She snapped the cover shut on her laptop and walking past Cuddy, she muttered under her breath, "enjoy the couch." The slam of the door told House she was currently in their bedroom, no doubt lying in a wait like a female insect on a natural geographic show. If her parting shot about the couch was any indication, she was most likely going to bite his head off before the mating and not after.

Although, the chances of there being any mating now that the cat was out of the bag about his clinic days being over were next to nonexistent.

A heavy silence had settled over the three doctors. Wilson cleared his throat. "We brought over Lisa's aero bed."

"Isn't that special," snarled House, grabbing the Tivo remote and the guide. He dropped onto the couch and flicked the TV on, annoyance clear in his every movement.

"Listen House, I appreciate that you were willing to help, but I think I am going to ask someone else. Me staying her looks like it might ruin things for you."

Laughing, House continued to shuffle through the channels. "Who are you going to ask? Chase is going to be a hard sell because I just can't see you as Mrs. Robinson and neither will the board. Wilson is how you got into this in the first place, Foreman, well I suppose you might get a few people to believe that you are down with the swirl, but that might help you more at say UCLA then Princeton. The board is just a little less than progressive, shall we say."

"So," he continued, finally settling on an episode of Gilligan's Island, "it's either me or possibly Cameron." He grinned suggestively. "Actually, if you want me to step aside so you can court the love that dare not speak its name, I'm ok with that. You two can even stay here."

"House," Wilson said with a frown, "Could you at least try and be serious."

"I am. You know what, people might have an easier time buying you and Cameron than me with you. You, the older dominating Dean and Cameron the young, naïve doctor with an itch to learn that only you can scratch."

Wilson looked momentarily distracted by the picture painted by House's words. "Just think if we all get fired for this, we could make soft core porn for Skinamax. The Dean and the naughty resident, Some Guy with a Cane doing the Naughty Resident, and the prequel to the whole series, a complete moron who couldn't keep it in his pants till after his divorce was finalized has sex with the Dean and has to rope his friend into the whole mess. Well, that last one could us a little work."

With a roll of his eyes, Wilson sat on the recliner. "You're right, you are the most logical choice. A lot of people know that you two were...involved at UMICH. It will make this easier to believe."

"How do you mean that Jimmy?" asked Cuddy.

"Listen, it's not something I like to think about, but I am ok with it. I mean it was years ago so its not like I am jealous or anything."

"Jealous? Of what? House asked, honestly confused.

"That you two slept together," replied Wilson resignedly.


	4. Oh, your cheating heart?

**IT'S ALL FOR YOU DANI, IT'S ALL FOR YOU!**

Cuddy and House exchanged a look of disbelief, then House's lips curved into a wolfish smile. Cuddy glared at him, but he only lifted his shoulders lightly in a shrug. "I wish I could take credit, but I can't," he said smirking.

"Jimmy, who told you that?" Asked Cuddy.

"Its common knowledge," Wilson replied, looking down at his tasseled loafers.

"We have never slept together," Cuddy declared emphatically. "Never."

Wilson lifted his eyes from his shoes. His expression was neutral, but she could see the doubt and hurt in hi eyes. "Lisa really, it isn't such a big deal. I mean younger student and the resident campus bad boy, its something that occurs quite often. The only thing that seems odd is that you find it necessary to deny it to me. Why is it that you can't admit it, at least to me?"

House paused the Tivo. "Do you two mind, I am trying to watch a special about a former Princeton alumni," he asked.

Wilson glanced at the screen, naturally assuming that House was lying. What he found was that it was indeed a program with some sort of medical setting and, judging from the outfits, House had paused it in the middle of a reenactment.

There was something vaguely familiar about the scene; Wilson thought it might be something on Discovery Health that he'd seen earlier in the month. "Sorry."

"Could you take this little spat somewhere else?"

Cuddy glared at him, not in the least bit concerned about his viewing enjoyment. "House, don't you think that this is a little more important? I mean, maybe you don't care about your reputation, but I do."

"Why would you care about my reputation?"

"House, stop being so deliberately dense."

"I personally think it would boost your street cred if people thought I was a notch on your stethoscope." He flicked the pause button again and the program resumed.

Wilson's attention was drawn to the screen. "I think I've seen this before," he squinted slightly, "that one actor was on NYPD Blue, and now he's on educational programming. Still, I guess work is work."

House snorted, "You are the only person I know that would recognize some bit player from NYPD Blue. Nothing gets past you, does it?"

Hearing the laughter in House's voice, Wilson asked irritably, "What's so funny? So what I have a good memory when it comes to faces, that's all."

House heaved a sighed before pausing the Tivo again. "You do huh, did you happen to notice who the attending is?"

Wilson turned his attention back to the screen. "Is that Neil Patrick Harris?"

"You said you were watching a special about a Princeton alumni," snapped Cuddy.

"I am. Doctor Howser attended Princeton. I don't know why it isn't in the brochure. His story is really enthralling," said House as he pushed the info button, a minute later the program information loaded at the bottom of the screen, "Douglas "Doogie" Howser, is a child prodigy who after completing high school in nine weeks, graduated from Princeton at age 10 and finished medical school four years later, becoming, at the tender age of fourteen, the youngest practicing physician in the country," read House aloud. "That kid did Princton at age ten and you're proud of being the youngest Dean of Medicine? Big deal."

"You are confused, I am the second youngest dean of medicine, but I am the first woman," said Cuddy as she leaned over and snatched the remote from his hand, switching off the tv.

"Hey! That is against House's house rules. There is only one person who gets to do that, and you don't want to know what she has to do for the privilege."

"Grow up. It's a stupid tv show, this is important."

"So was that, it's the episode where Doogie brings his mother's boss to the house to go skinny dipping," House laughed appreciatively, "Oh, that Doogie. He is a scamp. Reminds me a little of myself as a lad."

Cuddy arched a finely plucked brow and waited till House had finished. "He doesn't want to tell you what really did happen between us in college because he comes off to much like a sympathetic human being, that is why he is stalling."

Knowing that she knew him to long and too well to keep denying the obvious, he admitted reluctantly. "I also come off as a felon."

"What we did wasn't a felony, at least not exactly."

Still, it was worth a last ditch effort to dissuade her, thought House. "Not in Nevada maybe, but people frown on that sort of thing in the Blue states, the red ones too. We need to find a purple state."

"House, come on…"

"Fine," he said throwing up his hands. "Tell him, but I bet you five bucks that he isn't going to find it any better than us sleeping together."

"I would find anything better than the idea of you two together," said Wilson.

Cuddy pulled the chair away from Cameron's desk. "When I was an undergrad in college, I took on way more than I should have. I pledged, I was on several student committees, I even volunteered at the health clinic. I was so focused on looking good on paper when it came time to apply to med school that I didn't bother to look in the mirror most days…"

"It showed," House agreed, "you were usually a little skanky."

"Shut up. I mean that I was always rushing to be somewhere and I was always exhausted. I would get to class and be doing work for the next class. If I wasn't doing that, I was working on the budget for the next meeting of my sorority because I couldn't settle for just being in an active member sorority, I had to be on the board. After awhile, you get to a point where you can only balance so much. I was nearly at that point by the middle of fall semester my second year. I was nearly drowning, but I just kept swimming for shore."

"She was doing very well in Creative lit, as is evidenced by that poetic allusion."

"House," she warned with a glance and to Wilson's surprise, House's expression changed to something that boarded on sympathy.

Looking away from Cuddy, House began with a quip, but his words soon turned serious. "You see that more than your fantasy about naïve college girls and the B.M.O.C, kids that have worked so hard to be the best in their high schools and then they get to college and instead of having to be the best in a class of two hundred, they have to be the best in a class of two thousand. And to do that and have the networking opportunities they need for careers after school they spread themselves too thin."

Cuddy nodded. "That's what happened to me. I was taking Topics in neuroendocrinology. I had to appeal to the chair of the department to take it, so I had to get a 4.0. Not, I hope I get a 4.0, but I had to. Because if I didn't, I could never force into a class again. That's how I first met House, he was the TA."

"There it is, my secret shame exposed. I once TA'ed, but it was only because I had to. I was very young and they…they forced me. It was so humiliating."

"I thought it had something to do with an incident at John Hopkins," commented Cuddy.

"There was that as well. Doctor Emerson was one of the people on the review board at U Mich that voted to let me in. It was a conditional vote, at least on his part, the condition being that I did all of his grunt work for as long as he needed me to. I slaved for him for three semesters until he found his next victim."

It took a minute to wrap his mind around the idea of anyone being able to manipulate House. But once he got past it, Wilson was able to examine the connection between House and Lisa. "Did you fix her grade?"

House smiled, "I am insulted by that accusation. I would not fix a grade. I misplaced her midterm to buy her some extra study time."

"You did what? Just because you felt bad for her?"

"Pft," House made a dismissive noise. "Hell no, she offered me sex."

"That isn't true," said Cuddy. "There used to be a student area for athletics. During the day, it was always packed, but at night, it was usually deserted. It was the only place I could think to go to be alone. I was sitting on the bleachers, crying because I knew that I had failed my midterm. It was going to drag down my grade, which would drag down my GPA, which would pretty much ruin my life."

The three doctors were silent, each thinking of moments in their school careers that had seemed like the end of the world. In House's case, it had been that accusation of cheating that had nearly destroyed his future. Wilson had been found with a watch during his MCAT's, not knowing that it was prohibited. There had been a scene and Wilson, a younger, very nervous Wilson, had fainted dead away.

Cuddy smiled faintly. "It's funny how dramatic you can be when you're younger, what's the worst that would have happened? I got a lesson in over extending myself? I wouldn't be the first female dean of medicine at some prestigious institution?"

"Alright," admitted House begrudgingly, "It could have happened like that, but I prefer my version. It was sexier."

"I'm sure you do. Anyway, House was running laps and he came over to ask me if I was alright…."

"I was interested in sex," House cut in, "I figured if she was on the rebound, strike while her self esteem was low."

Wilson waited for Cuddy to correct House's statement, but when she didn't, he realized House was serious. "Classy."

"Classy don't get you undergrad ass."

"Neither did being a pig," pointed out Cuddy.

"Not your ass, but there was this one girl, she was a graphic arts major and she did this thing with her tongue, I…"

"Off topic House."

"It's a far more interesting story…"

"Says you, may I continue?"

"If it will get me back to Doogie."

"Thank you, anyway, I started telling him about the semester and how I couldn't believe that I didn't put the time into studying and if I only had another week I would have aced it. He left as soon as I was done talking and I didn't really give it any more thought, I had enough on my mind already.

House raised an eyebrow. "That's a lie. I think it was that evening that started your girlfriend's unhealthy obsession with me."

"I got to class that Thursday and the professor told me that two exams had been misplaced and that I would have to take a make-up exam. Doctor Emerson gave me and the other student two weeks to study because he was going to have to get lab time for us for the practical portion and we would be taking a different exam than the one previously given. I studied nonstop and when I took the exam two weeks later, I got a perfect score."

House was right, in a way. Wilson was relieved that Lisa and House had never gone to bed together, but at the same point in time, that tiny moral compass in his head was swinging back and forth. He wasn't surprised about House's involvement, but Lisa? She just didn't seem the type to cheat in college. The Lisa Cuddy she had been back then had been morally rigid, or so he'd always assumed. "That's the reason you stayed in touch with House? Out of a sense of gratitude?"

"Not entirely. I was grateful, but it was more than gratitude. We used to run into one another at conferences and we knew some of the same people. He lectured at Princeton and then he was a patient. And after that…" she trailed off before changing the topic, "Besides, with House's attitude, I get him cheap."

"So if it wasn't for House, you would have never finished second in your class."

"No, I wouldn't have. Which was part of the reason I got my position at the hospital. I don't want you to think that I didn't regret it, I did. But by the time I figured out that it wasn't a miracle, it was finished. If I had confessed, we would have both gotten in trouble. House would have been expelled and probably blacklisted. He didn't deserve it."

Wilson bristled as her Housian justification of wrongdoing. "I think he did, no offense House, but cheating is cheating."

"Maybe, but if she had gashed her wrists open over Christmas break because she couldn't take the stress anymore, I would have known that I looked at her and I could have helped."

That image subdued Wilson's self-righteousness slightly.

"I can't imagine you in the position of benefactor of teary co-ed's."

"Your imagination is pretty limited. If a patient asks for help, would you turn them away and let them die?"

"No," exclaimed Wilson.

"If you saw someone drowding but the sign said no swimming do you let them drown because they should have known better? Same difference. I saw a kid who was going to be dead before spring semester, so I did something. I intervened because I saw someone in distress, even if she should have known better. Emerson was a complete dick who would have mocked her to her face about pushing her way into his class and then failing. That alone would have been enough, but an added plus was I hated Rich Kempner."

"Who?" Asked Cuddy. This was a part of the story that she didn't know and since she was the story, she couldn't help but ask.

"That was the kid with the other missing exam. If just his disappeared, it would have looked suspicious since Emerson knew I hated him. But two exams, and one belonged to a hot co-ed? Maybe they fell off the pile or were stuck together. Who knows? But Emerson knew I wasn't going to cock block myself, not if I could help it. He figured it was an honest accident. Cuddy was an excellent student and so was Kempner, neither of them had anything to gain by getting a stay of execution…well, so Emerson thought."

Cuddy laughed. "I don't know if that's all true, but I do know that you helped me because I was overwhelmed, overworked, and hadn't slept in days. That's what really happened, I don't know why people would think that we slept together, at least, why they would think we were involved. Outside of that one class, we didn't know each other very well, not back then."

House leaned over and picked the remote off the coffee table where she'd dropped it several minutes before. "I can field that, Foreman said that he's vaguely afraid of you and I told him if you get her naked after a field house mixer, she is a pussy cat."

Disgustedly, Cuddy got up from the chair and put it back at Cameron's desk. "Why would you say that?

"Because if I flat out claimed to have nailed you, they would have known I was lying," he said with a self-satisfied smile before he turned Doogie Howser back on.


End file.
